I Am The Night
by Mokusan
Summary: Dean thinks he's Batman, Castiel is confused, and Sam stages an intervention. Crack!fic, written for a prompt at comment fic on LJ.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.  
**Prompt:** SPN, Sam/Dean, Dean thinks he's really Batman and Sam stages an intervention. (Bonus points for confused Castiel!)  
This is **not** a Sam/Dean story!

* * *

"I'm Batman!"

Sam watched as Dean punched at the air with his own sound effects, beating the invisible 'bad guys' to the ground.

"Dean, don't you think this has gone on long enough?"

"I am vengeance! POW! I am the night! BAM! I am—" Dean turned to face Sam, pulling his towel cape to cover the lower half of his face. "BATMAN!"

"… Right. Dean, listen, Bobby called with a case. If we leave tonight we can make—"

But Dean was already out the door and down the street. He made quite the sight, dressed in his usual attire with the subtle additions of his 'cape' and a ski mask which Dean had stated – quite seriously – was to hide his identity. All in all, it could have been worse, though on some level Sam wished it was a spirit possessing him; at least then he would know what to do. The soft rush of wings signaled the arrival of an angel, followed closely by the low rumble of an engine. Sam only continued to stare at the open doorway.

"Where is Dean?"

"I think he found the Batmobile." Sam paused as the Impala screeched out of the parking lot, lights flashing and music blaring. "Cas," he said, turning to the angel who's face was pulled into a grimace of confusion, "I need your help."

* * *

"Dean believes he is Batman, who is a comic book… superhero?"

"Yeah. Well, he has movies and cartoons and stuff, too," Sam answered, peering through the bushes. Dean was just ahead, assaulting a small statue of a penguin in the kiddie corner of the park.

"Are you certain he is not possessed?" Castiel seemed to doubt that Dean was capable of such insanity.

"Trust me, I wish he was," Sam muttered. He pulled back from the bushes and turned to Castiel. "Okay, here's what we need to do: you run out and announce that you're the Joker, which will make him try to fight you, then you work some angel mojo and we lock him up at Bobby's before he comes to. Got it?"

"I understand."

Castiel rose from his hiding place and approached Dean. Sam watched from between gnarled branches as the two spoke. Dean, however, was not attacking Castiel – he was… hugging him?

"Castiel!"

"He is referring to me as…"

"Robin! My sidekick and boy wonder of Gotham!" Behind his mask, Dean was grinning from ear to ear.

"Look, Dean, that's not Robin," Dean gasped at the blasphemy, "and you are _not Batman_."

Dean lunged and tackled Sam to the ground. Castiel calmly made his way over; there was something in the way he walked that made Sam think he was rather amused by the situation.

"It would appear he has taken offense at your observation," the angel mused.

"Yeah, Cas, a little help would be nice!"

"Robin! Help me subdue this criminal!"

Castiel stepped forward and pressed two fingers against Dean's temple. The elder Winchester froze and toppled sideways, landing in the sandbox out cold. Sam allowed himself a moment to catch his breath.

"He will wake within the hour," Castiel told him, already turning to walk away. "When he does, he should be Dean and only Dean." Sam glanced at his brother and when he turned back, the angel had already disappeared with his customary whisper of wings. Sam decided that it would be pointless to try and haul Dean back to the Impala, so he remained where he was. He tried not to think about how odd it would be for two grown men, one unconscious and ridiculously dressed, to be found in the sandbox of a park. With that in mind he untied the towel at Dean's neck and tugged away the ski mask.

A short while later, Dean began to stir, muttering beneath his breath as his eyes flooded open. He looked confused, as if he did not know how he had arrived in the park, until his eyes landed on Sam.

"Dean, is it you? You're not… Batman, are you?"

"Don't be stupid," Dean said, rolling his eyes as he pulled himself into a sitting position. Sam released a breath and couldn't help but grin. "I'm Superman!"


End file.
